Eye Contact: Intimidation or Positive Communication?

Eye contact is an important part of building trust and relationships. It shows people you respect them and also conveys interest in what they are saying. But every once in a while eye contact can have a detrimental effect on a relationship, making the other person feel intimidated by your stare. This advice from Dr. Tony Alessandra will help you make sure your eye contact fosters rapport instead of inhibiting it.

"Make sure that when you make eye contact with others that it's not coming across as intimidation," says Alessandra. "If a person doesn't seem happily willing to make eye contact with you, consider your technique."

--Are you staring coldly? (As if you were a participant in a staring contest?)
--Are you relaxing your facial features and connecting warmly with the other person?

"Eye contact works best when it's not construed as intimidation," continues Alessandra. "Practice making eye contact with yourself in a mirror. Would you want to make eye contact with yourself during conversation? The answer to that question will help you determine how and what ways you may need to readjust your eye contact technique."

Tony Alessandra is a contributor to Top Dog Sales Secrets. He has authored 17 books translated into 49 foreign language editions, recorded over 50 audio/video programs, and delivered over 2,000 keynote speeches since 1976.

Listen with Empathy

Have I been talking too much about resolutions? I know New Year's has come and gone, but it's still on my mind. There are a lot of things I'd like to do and change - including being more understanding of what motivates other people. This article from sales trainer Tony Alessandra is motivation to make just one more resolution.

"No matter how outrageous, inconsiderate, false, self-centered, or pompous the person you are talking to is, remember: He or she is simply trying to survive, just like you," says Alessandra. "We are all participating in the same physical and psychological struggle. Some of us just have better survival strategies than others. Thus, the obnoxious person deserves more pity than scorn. "The wounded deer leaps highest," Emily Dickinson wrote, and it is true."

"So listening with empathy means asking yourself, "Where is this person's anger coming from?" "What is he or she asking for?" "What can I do that's reasonable and supportive?" You are not everyone's shrink, and you do not have to carry the weight of the world on your back," continues Alessandra. "However, if you can think through what makes this person behave like this, perhaps you will be inclined to cut them a little slack."

Try Alessandra's advice the next time you're getting an earful from a difficult customer.

Tony Alessandra is a contributor to Top Dog Sales Secrets. He has authored 17 books translated into 49 foreign language editions, recorded over 50 audio/video programs, and delivered over 2,000 keynote speeches since 1976.

Abstain From Judging

As someone once advised, "Grow antennae, not horns."

"If you prejudge someone as shallow, crazy, or ill informed, you automatically cease paying attention to what they say," says sales trainer and author Tony Alessandra. "So a basic rule of listening is to judge only after you have heard and evaluated what they say. Do not jump to conclusions based on how they look, or what you have heard about them, or whether they are nervous."

"In fact, a good exercise would be to go out of your way to listen to a difficult speaker," continues Alessandra. "Maybe he talks with a thick accent. Or talks much more rapidly, or more slowly, than you, or uses a lot of big words. Whatever difficulty this speaker poses, seize it as an opportunity not to prejudge but to practice your listening skills. Given some time, you will become more comfortable and effective in listening to diverse styles."

Tony Alessandra is a contributor to Top Dog Sales Secrets. He has authored 17 books translated into 49 foreign language editions, recorded over 50 audio/video programs, and delivered over 2,000 keynote speeches since 1976.

Expand Your Business With Each Customer

Yesterday, Dr. Tony Alessandra showed us how to use a periodic client review to gauge a client's level of satisfaction. Today, he shows you several ways to expand your business through your customers.

• Referrals within their company. Whenever you talk to clients, keep one eye open for clues that indicate needs within their company, for example, a new office or branch that may need your product or service. Ask your customers for a referral, either verbally or in writing.

• Sell more of the same. While servicing an account, suggest that they buy more if you see they have the capacity to use larger volumes of your product. Under no circumstances, though, should you try to sell them more if they do not need it.

• Sell additional products or services. If you see a need, offer new products and services to your present customers. If they like your original product, they will listen to your ideas about expanding into other products.

• Upgrade your clients. If a client uses a medium-priced product, you may be able to upgrade him to a higher-priced, higher-quality product, especially if his company is growing and its needs are changing. For example, a company using a copying machine may need one with more capabilities, such as photo-reduction and collating. If you are aware of their increased needs, suggest the upgrade - before your competitor does.

Exert the extra effort to keep your customers completely satisfied, and you will reap the rewards - with their repeat business and with their referrals.

Tony Alessandra is a contributor to Top Dog Sales Secrets. He has authored 17 books translated into 49 foreign language editions, recorded over 50 audio/video programs, and delivered over 2,000 keynote speeches since 1976.

Earning Repeat Business

We mentioned yesterday that this week is all about growing your sales through repeat business. Dr. Tony Alessandra shares his tips below to keep your customers satisfied and returning to you time and again.

"Annual or periodic client reviews provide a valuable tool for looking at the activities of an account, an industry in general, competitors, company strengths and weaknesses, and so on," says Alessandra.

"This special meeting will give you feedback about your customer's level of satisfaction, and provide an opportunity to introduce new products or services. It will also convey that you care, and strengthen the trust bond between you."

To set the stage for an effective meeting:

1. Arrange a breakfast or lunch meeting at your customer's convenience.
2. Select a place that is well-lit, and conducive to conversation.
3. Invite all the necessary participants on the account. If there are two buyers, invite them both.
4. Bring all records necessary to discuss the previous year's business.
5. Allow an adequate amount of time for the meeting.
6. Be prepared and organized. Know what you want to talk about, and proceed in a logical manner. Take notes if necessary, and send a typed copy to the participants within one week after the meeting.
7. Listen carefully for implied needs and concerns.
8. Reiterate your desire to be of service and to maintain an open, trusting relationship.
9. During your conversation, look for opportunities above and beyond the client's immediate horizon. Ask for referrals and letters of testimony if appropriate.
10. After the review, offer a new idea, service, product or special promotional offer. This is an excellent opportunity to spark interest in something new.

Follow Dr. Tony's tips and your clients will be impressed with your service - and reward you with repeat business.

Tony Alessandra is a contributor to Top Dog Sales Secrets. He has authored 17 books translated into 49 foreign language editions, recorded over 50 audio/video programs, and delivered over 2,000 keynote speeches since 1976.